With Father’s Day coming up on the 21st June in the UK, we are aware that it may be a difficult time for people for many different reasons. For bereaved fathers, this can be a particularly challenging and painful time.
The loss of loved ones, and especially little ones lost too soon, it can feel immensely painful on days like these. It is very difficult when everyone else seems to be happy and celebrating, but for you, you just feel alone, desperately sad, and longing to be with the baby you love and miss so much.
So on this tender day, try to be kind to yourself. You are still a Dad, and it’s important to look after you on this day. Perhaps try to find a way of connecting and remembering your baby or little one and being with safe people in safe spaces that feel nurturing and not triggering. Being in nature, or with people who really care and understand. You may like to have some time away alone, or with your partner, to reflect and remember. Visit a graveside, be in a nice garden, or go up on the Moors or by a riverside. Spend some time in the baby loss area of The Park in Plymouth, sitting on our baby loss memorial bench and reflecting.
What do you need?
Try to plan and think about what you need on this day. It’s ok to give yourself permission to feel sad – allow yourself time and compassion. It may be helpful to create ‘continuing bonds’ in some way with those we have loved. Memories and heart desires continue way beyond loss. We may miss our loved ones terribly, and there will be experiences we longed to do, or words we hoped to share together. We can still cherish and honour the love we have for those we miss.
Some people find writing a letter or writing your thoughts and heart’s desires in a journal can help. Some find connecting with safe others who understand and have been through similar losses can be helpful and validating too.
Your feelings and experiences and emotions are unique to you – giving yourself permission to do what you need is absolutely ok.
If you need to talk, please get in touch – we are here to listen. You are not alone. We care and we understand.
Pregnancy Crisis Care – call us on: 01752 246788, or email in to: contact@pregnancycrisiscare.org.uk